today had been very dissapointing . everything has come to an 'end'. lies,cheats......
are just being revealed today .
just when it happened, I felt totally different . & I dnt think anyone can make me feel any better . everything has been so shitty for e past one week .. & I think, its gna be prolong . but nt until I get e hold of it .this really sucks. totally sucks . everything has not been going in my way . fuck .
I Hate It So Fucking Much .
Yes, I felt like saying e word 'fuck' a million times . or even more than tt . yes, FUCK . f-u-c-k, FUCKKK !
everything tt has been happening, it tends to make me feel super depressed . & I cnt control my emotions . I cn appear to be happy at times, but e next moment . Im totally Not . I myself cldnt understand why . simply tiring . bu I just cnt help it .
& to You tt had been hit w , Im terribly sorry . but e more I think of it, you kinda caused it . dnt have to ask me why, I wldnt know why . & sometimes, you asked me things . things which made you feel quite reluctant to trust me .
Im sorry for being rude to you . Im sorry for being such an asshole to you. Im sorry I caused you misery. Im sorry I made you feel that Im not trustworthy or whtvr it is . Im sorry to have caused you trouble . Lastly, Im sorry to not make you happy .
I tend to feel so mad w you . I'll get mad even when you did little things that I abhor . but I guess, it started from last Friday . geddit ? Im not trying to yknow, ungkit . Im not . but I just cant help it . thrs noone whom I cld rlyrlyrly pour out my feelings to . esp, this feelings . if i were to pour it out to you, it doesnt works . cos I will continue feeling e same feelings . idk why .. & seriously I repeat, I'll easily get mad at you . I really, really dont knw why . esp before or after tt, something or someone has made me mad, e more I wld get mad at you if you had annoyed me . I knw tt this is unfair . but idk, I just cnt change e way I am . I know you have been very patient w me . Yes, I appreciate that . Thank you very much . but nevertheless, e behaviour I got in me, is not fading . I just felt so depressed now . plus this year Im doing e O . all those naggings Ive gotten . its just wayyy too much for me .
Im really sorry & I love you too .
by whtvr I had done to you for e whole one week . Im just mad at you . idk why .. Im very sorry .If I dont, it definitely shows that I no longer loves you . true ? so please, stop having tt thinking tt I no longer love you or whtvr bullshit . maybe my character towards you have been out of hand . Im sorry once again . but seriously, just dont do anything tt I despise . Please ..
& I conclude, whtvr Ibu has done for me . I really appreciate it . & no matter wht, I love Ibu so much . even though I totally hate your naggings & advise sometimes, I know, you do care for me . its bcos you love me tts why you did all tht . but please, not off e limit ): I really do need sometime to overcome this shitty feelings . Sigh .
Enuf of those . starting frm next week, wld be e very busiest week . until .......... idk when hor . sigh . I was thr at e gallery w dear classmates watching them taking their O lvls results . e way I look at how some of them react, I got scared . damn it .. I cn playplay no more . I really hafta buck up & study real f hard . damndamndamn ...........................
& I know this had been a long post . so if you have read it, thank you for your time . if you dont, then still, thank you for your presence . Im gna delete my tagboard . dead one . shits . & ohh, tmr will be having tuition . aft tt, may be goin to changi .family day .
That's just a nick . Khairun Sofia it is .
I may not be a loud or friendly person, but do getta know me well first before you judge me .
Im nice okey ? Haha . I love my family, I love Fiqqy♡. Thankyou ☺