Ignore e fat fingers *

Basically, cousins came over for tuition . & I think, I wasnt really concentrating and Ive got almost everything, sooooooo tonggang tebalek . forgot this & that . Hah, pathetic . pick up slow-.- Mama came not long after . blablabla . I went out for a while .

Met Ika & Aqib first . Ye, aku cm nk relay eyk ? terkejot seyh aku . Sabaaa je . sumpah I didnt noticed you guys were right behind me . Hehx .. So anyway, Elmyrah came a moment later . Sat at her blk thr . & yeaaaaaaaaaaahs, I was like ... O'oh . Oh gosh . Oh no maynn )': den Mun & Mai came . Ika & Aqib left, having some reunion party . Cey, no lh . hmm . left e four of us . every now & then, one after another, kept talking about someone . just by hearing it, my heart sank . Felt totally, lost & scared & all sorts of feelings .. idk wy .
a moment later, I heard e sound of his ngengggngennnggg pocketbike . Omeeee, yeah I know its him . they sat at other place . Mai wanted to go thr, & obviously, I felt so reluctant to go . As they cld jolly well know why .

Im just having, this upsidedown feeling . I kept telling to myself, yes I can do it . but a moment later, I just cant . I find myself weak . & felt so hopeless thereafter .
whenever when Im w friends, e ones who cld just put on a smile on my face . I felt like nothing bad has happened to me . I felt okay . I felt normal . Im happy . but it didnt last long . just as I began to encounter such things that wld make me think about all those sadness, there I go , not being myself anymore . to Elmyrah, I bet you're kinda tired of listening to my whines & all sorts of things Ive told you . Right ? but idk, I just wna share it w someone . & thanks to you,I cld tell all sorts of shits that has happened to me . Other than Hanis & Atikah . Im worn out feeling like this . I dont even know why Im feeling this way . Its just, so tiring ........

Yeap, I saw you just now . Indeed . but you didnt see me . e moment they told me you were somewhere there, I felt ' Oh no ' . dont let me bump into you . Coz I'll feel awkward enough . I can no longer bring myself to be face to face w you anymore . I know, I wld love to . I want to . but something just, pulls me back from being able to do so .. My heart beats very fast each time they talked about you . Moreover, when I eventually saw you just now . I stared into e blank . I was really, dreaming . wasnt because of you but . Idk . I turned silent & just began to stare e sit infront of me . I really wasnt myself . Im not seeking any attention from you . just stating what Im feeling . I mean, if you happen to read all these . all those previous posts . I just, dont know to who & how shld I let all my sorrows gone at this very moment . If I cld .

Now I can clearly see that, Im just a weak person . e one who just cant let go of what she has to . e one who just decided to be stucked up on e past . Yes, e one who just cant fucking move on & get over it . It's only a few days, & I began to be like this . Haix . Im so dissapointed in myself too . If he could, why cant I ? Wake up Sofiiiiaaaa ~ c'mon .

I'll try . I'll try . I'll try . Thats what Ive been telling to myself . but I just cant . How hopeless can I be ? Fucktarddd .

` maybe its just that something special, which makes me have e difficulties to let go of you . Coz, it wasnt from anyone else . just you . & I appreciate that you didnt make things any worse for me . Thank you .

Im always crying whenever I happen to listen to Superman . ehhh, pleaseeeee sehhhhh sop .
but really, I do actually . I know, its pathetic much . but well . I just do . Hah, move on kiddo .

~

Sometimes you have to cry for no reason, to make up for all the times you wanted to cry and didn't .

TRUE LOVE WILL COME, IT FUCKING TRACKS YOU DOWN EVEN IF YOU ARE ACROSS THE GLOBE, IT FINDS YOU AND WILL HIT YOU LIKE A FUCKING TRANSPORT TRUCK HITTING A SQUIRREL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.

DON'T DESPAIR; IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND! WELL, UNLESS YOU'RE REALLY OLD (LIKE 30); IN THAT CASE, I SUGGEST ALCOHOL

IF LOVE WILL TEAR US APART, IT WILL BRING US BACK TOGETHER

DON'T HOLD BACK.

Finally,
FIND SOMEONE THAT CAN MAKE YOU SMILE. NEVER LET THIS PERSON GO.

Labels: I just cant .