sometimes crying is jux e bez thing to do when im feeling dowwwwnnn.
noone understands me. i will be e one who has to tolerate all you guyz nonsensical behaviour. i will be e one who needs to be extra patient. i will be e one suffering. & you guyz, will think nothing of me.
i think im being too kind hearted. or infact, tooooo soft-hearted. in some situation, i jux cant help it but to give way to others. being a fool here is e worst thing i could even do. like some people,
when they're down or having trouble. im there for them. not to talk big. but i seriously do. but, they gave nothing in return. i dont expect much. but, that particular person really heck care about me. after all those coaxing & talking & caring & yadayada. that person seems to like " AH WHATEVER. what i know is that im okay now. so shoooo~ " urgh. like y'knoww.. that kind of thing . simply said ;
PEOPLE JUST DONT APPRECIATE WHAT I'VE DONE FOR THEM . PEOPLE DOESNT CARE ABOUT ME. IM NOTHING TO THEM. EVEN MY CLOSEST FRIENDS WOULD MAKE ME FEEL REAAAAAL DOWN & DIDNT EVEN SAY SORRY OR WHATEVER SHIT.
they just really dont care about me. & here i am .. feeling so worn out. tired of those sickening & heartless people. if you think you're one of them, Congrats . i hate you.
like even jux now. jux a phone call. you're trying to be e one who could jux talk as normal as you are last time. but w fucking harsh words. to you, its like you're jux playing a fool or something. but to me, it hurts so bad. you still dont know me do you ? Well, if not for them. ytd would be already 1 year & 4 months. but to hell w that. your words has seriously hurt my feelings so badly. when you first asked me to call. that was when we first getta contact each other back again, you still do use some of those fucktard words. its like as if you're cursing Them. but it didnt really affect me. but this time round. it really does. you're too much. i really hate you for that. am jux hoping we wont be contacting each other ever again. But i know that cant be happening. coz i know if you were to text me, i would have e urge to reply it & so everything's back to normal. everything would react e same way. i jux cant help it but to still be bothered about you. but well, you seem to be jux like e others. which is, to not understand me. i want your Oldself back. i missed that. but hey congrats that you've hurt my feelings. i appreciate that.
FRIENDS. i thought i can turn to them if i were in some problems or wthvr fuck. but hey im wrong. they add salt to e wound instead. they heck care about me. find fault w me. force me to do things. & some other stuffs. Which, in e first place i think it is fun to do it together but then now~ Nothing. im sad. im feeling veryvery sad. even my closest friend, would give me an attitude when he/she knows im not in a good condition or whtvr so. i aint got a true friend.
LOVElife . doesnt succeed in any. i dont need it . it doesnt last long. can anyone even tell me whts e definition of love ? HAH. but i guess, dont bother. coz in e end we'll get hurt anyway. lovelife sucks . thanks to those who have been trying. its much appreciated. i dont need it.
FAMILY. they even sometimes wouldnt have time for me. yea, i know they're busy w their own stuffs. i dont really care bout that. urggh. i do have e urge to consult any aunties or uncles or obviously, even my dearest cuzzies. but how ? everything's not like e past. everything's changed. why ? arggh, parents matter. i know we children shouldnt get involve or whtvr. but i think we should. if parents cant even think of e right way to deal w each other , why dont we be e one ? i love e way everything are last time. but now, it jux sucks. if this goes on, 100% sure we aint gotta get any closer. coz wna know wy ? we seldom meet. we seldom talk. we seldom hear news bout each other. & if we were to getta meet again, definitely, I'll Feel Awkward. even tho meeting my closest cuzzs. like, i dont know why. naturally i'll feel that way. i dont want that. lets do something to make our parents in good terms shall we ? well, i dont really know wht causes things to happen. but i knew that we're getting apart. pleeeeease, lets do something about it. jux us )':
fick.
i dont know wy am i posting stuffs like this. im feeling weird. im feeling sad. im feeling like a total loser. i cant do anything to even make myself feeling happy. am useless huh. i felt that noooooone, not even anyone wld letme share my superreeaaal probs w them. even if they do, they cant help much. they wld jux lend their ears. but do nothing in return. thanks so much to those concerned people. everything tht has happened today really made me feel suckish. all those mockings & talkings & laughings & whtvr ings left. thanks to that Jr. you made me re-call those sweet & sour memories .
URGHH. am so emotional .i hate this. blogger has been a real good friend. HAH. thanks.
& AMIpsycho™, stop saying sorry when you're not in e wrong . you did nothing tht hurts me. chill bro. even tho my pm was like tht, i wasnt referring to you. & i dont know wy i dont wanna tell you how i felt & wy im acting this way. im expecting Her to talk w me or whtvr. to at least ask me whts up w tht or wht im doing or whtvr. as long as she talks to me. BUT sadly, she didnt. thats one sad thing .
thanks eh friend. i dont care bout wht or how u feel if you're reading this. i really am. urghh. -.-"
i gotta think for myself. & e song played in my blog really turns out to be jux. e right song . Oh-well, its Fique you see. Hmm. i began to miss Faiz . like, alamak. WHATEVER eh sop.
HAaaaaHAaaaaaHAAAa. im feeling like an idiot, chatting away all alone in my blog. HAH.
=O
BONDYBONDY 1:47 AM
❙Sofia Bond
That's just a nick . Khairun Sofia it is .
I may not be a loud or friendly person, but do getta know me well first before you judge me .
Im nice okey ? Haha . I love my family, I love Fiqqy♡. Thankyou ☺